Joan demonstrates cold water etiquette

Something wrong with the windscreen.  Scrape off the frost but still opaque.  Yes, another layer, frozen on hard.  Permafrost removed and nicely warmed by heated seats, Pete arrived to a scene of utter quiet and stillness.

A 4x4 descending gingerly announced Joan's arrival with Emma soon after.  The grotto took longer than usual to open up - frozen locks and once open, the thermometer on the door stood at minus one.

There followed a piece of co-ordinated undressing, so slick that it really could become a demonstration event at Rio.  No-one wishing their fellows to be exposed for a second longer that necessary, we were all ready for the off.  Joan and Emma sped off on their horned heels with Pete and his delicate soles treading gingerly after.  However, exclamations of pain soon alerted Pete to the state of the beach - it was frozen, presenting a field of petrified dips and hillocks which all negotiated carefully and so to the sea which wasn't where it has been for a while.

The tide was out, making the bid for deep water a deliciously tortuous walk though squelchy muddy sand with languid waves breaking over knees and thighs delivering a fresh cold dousing each time.
Enough - Joan was in and so all had to follow.  Bearing in mind Paul's definition of a "proper attempt at swimming", all had shoulders under and with the absence of Ollie, a quietness descended.  Swimming, floating then sighing as the initial pain subsided, the night was turning to day and the rosy glow this time came from the heavens.

But how long to stay?  What constitutes a decent amount of time at these temperatures?  The problem was solved by Joan who decided that she had had enough and began sprinting for the shore.  Dry land reached, the thermometer was lowered into the sea, there now being sufficient light to read by and double checked and confirmed as 3.5 degrees.

The beach was climbed carefully again and  this time the dressing was distinctly un co-ordinated, with everyone for themselves, thanks to Joan once more for the warm shower - lending an alternative meaning to the term "fill your boots".  Warm tea and conversation - a wonderful start to the day with a fly past of cormorants to complete the picture.

Swimmers: Joan, Emma, Pete
In: 7.15
Out: 7.20
Water temp: 3.5 degrees
Air temp: minus 1
Sea: Dense, lazy and out