Sea Swim Fitness: Tombstoning, viagra and hot tea

Yes folks, the fun and hijinks continue down on Saltdean beach. You just don't know what you are missing. Jokes and japes are the order of the day, every day!

Winter has returned and so has the wind chill factor - it was cold. But the sun was out and the sea unusually calm. The famous four converged on the beach as is customary for a Wednesday morning. I, myself, was late as usual and by the time I arrived there was a very interesting debate going on between Sara and Joan as to whether the tide was coming in or going out. Joan - says out. Sara - says in. Neither was prepared to back down, honour was at stake. Ollie and myself kept our own counsel. During a truce in the debate, Joan speculated that Ollie might have preferential access to Viagra on the grounds of his ...er, connections (not quite sure how the conversation got onto this). I, myself, wanted to know if discounts were available for mates, just for reference .... but I later discover that such products are classified as "performance enhancing" so might invalidate any future swims- so best leave it.

We were then entertained by a beachcomber called Dave dressed up in official uniform. He was actually the beachfront manager and was paying a friendly visit to run a sanity check over the assembled cast. Quickly satisfied that we were all barking he re-assured us that any interested onlookers would be informed of our sea worthiness should they attempt to raise the coastguard or lifeboat in order to rescue us. After some more general chit-chat he wished us luck and went on his way. Good to know that there is a watchful eye. Anyway, Dave did settle the dispute between Joan and Sara - the tide was coming in. Sara was ecstatic, Joan was not.

At this point I suggested Ollie take the tombstone test as conditions were favourable. I did not expect him to say yes, but up he went along the sea wall, tripping over and falling onto his backside before taking up position and launching himself into a freezing cold sea - without his wetsuit on. The noises he produced were quite comedic and had it not been so cold, my sides would have split with laughter!! :)) Unfortaunely, I was tasked with taking photographs of the event, but my hands were so cold I just couldn't catch the moment of glory (sorry Ollie, didn't have the heart to ask you to do it again). Will video it next time. Still, the photographs should give you some idea.

I followed Ollie into the water although I was wearing a wetsuit so the effect was not quite the same. Not nearly as cold as I thought it would be, fortunately Ollie was already in the water giving me some bearing of depth. I made heavy work of it, acting a bit like a frightened schoolboy on the end of the instructor's boot. Once in the water I gave chase to Sara, who by this time had already reached France and was on her way back. Conditions were good so it was possible to swim out quite far without too many problems. Joan and Ollie maintained their presence closer to the shoreline although remained in the water for quite some time which, given their lack of wetsuit, was very impressive. Sara and I pursued the usual ritual of discussing cormorant and albatross formations in the sky. I could see hundreds although I was later reliably informed that there weren't any. This cold water does do strange things.

I have to confess that the wind chill really did begin to bite once back on the beach and I was relieved to get my hands on some hot tea. We still await Fiona from Brighton Swimming Club who has promised a guest appearance sometime soon. Friday is birthday time again, so expect another limerick!

Air temp: 0C (wind chill)

Sea temp: 4.5C
Time In: 7:12
Time Out: 7:48

Swimmers: Ollie, Joan, Sara and Paul

Ollie takes the tombstone test without a wetsuit - hope he's OK ...